wrigley field is MILF paradise
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
