thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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