i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
