ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
