ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
