Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i now understand why vodka
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
