hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
