u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just high enough for therapy.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
