How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
