Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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