I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
