Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize