No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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