It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
