This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
