Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I want her autograph on my taint
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
