ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
