Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
