You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
