I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize