the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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