And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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