why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
