we have officially lost it.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize