Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
