Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
