You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
