I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
