I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
That's when you crack a 10am beer
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
