How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
