apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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