My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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