we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize