it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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