...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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