Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
