Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
