i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
