I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
