Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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