That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
