I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize