What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
