Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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