First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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