Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
