My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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