"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
