i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize