i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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