just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
