Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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