I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
