How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
