Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
