my soul wont recognize me after tonight
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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