your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
