wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
