don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
