hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
