Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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