I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize