I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
