This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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